Going to the Chapel and we are gonna get married…… but there has been a change

Yes this was going to be the story of getting married to Paxton, but the road has changed. Read on to find out why with some background knowledge of why I made my final decision

My first and only SL wedding partnership was back in 2008. to one amazing loving man, that after a year and half of being married, he started spending less time in SL, to care after the failing health of his RL significant other. Eventually after her death at age 42, he made a decision to leave SL in 2010, To this day, we are the very best of friends, he is my bestie and I am still his baby, We talk, laugh and curse each other out over our phone calls.

I came close to having that happy ending again after Gee left. I allowed myself to open my heart only to feel the heartache over again. The second time was with Rarden. We were in talking stages of partnering. When his health suddenly turned for the worse when his organs started failing from a long undiagnosed of Lyme Disease and Rarden never returned. The third time, I was literally swept of my feet, staring at handsome man at Sweethearts. I crashed and on my return, he was already dancing with another. I was going to leave when asked me to wait. We danced and talked all night into the early morning, when we realized it was 5am EST for the both of us. We partnered days before his RL business trip, would be away for a week. Moore wanted to get married when he return. I went along and made plans, I asked the guys he wanted to be in his Groom’s men and decided who I wanted to be my bridesmaids. I purchased the gown that I couldn’t wait for him to see me wearing on our big day and was just waiting on his return. Well that never happen …. he never returned to SL.

Which brings me to present day…Paxton and I got engaged on lovely Friday night, Dec 7, 2018, 2 days before my 11th Rez day. We teleported to Calas, with the hopes of getting on to their Christmas Sim, it was filled. So we went one of their other sims. Found a place to dance before he got on one knee. With the idea of having our ceremony after the holidays, it was perfect way to start the New Year off. We went home that night to snuggle on the couch. He selected our Wedding Song, “Bless the Broken Road” by Rascal Flatts. The song fitted us to a tea. He was so excited….His last words was “I will see you on Saturday and I have something special planned for Sunday”. That was the last time I saw Paxton online and heard from him. I was so excited, that I didn’t see the writing on the wall. We were friend for well over a year, with a running joke of calling each other brother and sister. It was our way of keeping this at arms length, his RL keeps him busy and he really only logs in over the weekend. I was still seeing someone else, that was never in SecondLife and we were already growing apart.

I knew he was already poor at communications when he logged out of SL, with the promises of getting better. After that wonderful night on the Calas sim, He stopped responding to my emails. Now a month later, his email is not found and not accepting new emails, as though he deleted his email account. I am baffled at the thought of how a person can be so disengaged when they log out of SecondLife. SL is like a PlayStation game or a video game. He doesnt log in once he is home from work like most do. Its an afterthought of what to do after dinner, before he needs to gets ready for the next day. The same goes for the weekend. Bottom line I don’t exist in his RL, only in SecondLife where I am just a pixel avatar. When he was in SL he was so loving, thoughtful, caring and talking about this amazing future we were going to have. We would end up in these long conversations, only to realize that we are the only ones left on the dance floor after going to a friends set. Funny how we talked about this and he knew that I was afraid of this happening. He was so adamant that it wouldn’t happen this time around and it did.

The twist…. I will get to wear my wedding gown. I am done with whole SecondLife Dating, The Baseball Cliché “Strike 3 and you are out”. Well this is my third strike, I am convinced that I am not meant to be loved in SecondLife. I do have a male alt that I used for photography. I will partner with my male alt and have a mock wedding.

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